Detective Derpy, On The Case!
by Lavasharks
Summary: Detective Note Pad and his partner Derpy Hooves solve crimes as they learn about Equestria's secrets, and about each other.
1. Act 1: Missing Shades

"I'm going to ask this one final time," said Rainbow Dash, "Have. You. Seen. My. Sunglasses?"

Derpy looked at the MISSING poster in Rainbow Dash's hooves with her crossed eyes. It bore a picture of very professional looking sunglasses with the caption "Reward: 50 bits".

"I am deeply confused and do not understand what it is you are asking," said Derpy, "You're not wearing sunglasses."

Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth and rubbed her muzzle for the umpteenth time. "That's because I LOST them!"

"Why?"

"How-" Rainbow Dash stopped and began to fly away, "Nevermind Derpy..."

Derpy flew after her. "Wait!"

Rainbow Dash turned and sighed in exasperation. "Yes?"

"I can try to find them for you!"

"My sunglasses? Uh, Derpy, I don't think-"

But Derpy was already gone. Rainbow Dash sighed a second time and flew away. She wasn't soaring above the clouds for ten minutes before Derpy returned and flew to her.

She stopped in front of Rainbow Dash suddenly and smiled brightly, her crossed eyes looking at her. She was wearing a stereotypical detective's fedora, complete with a small note pad on it that bore a 'DD'.

Rainbow spoke. "...DD?"

"Detective Derpy!" said Derpy loudly and proudly. "I'll find your sunglasses Rainbow Dash!"

"Derpy, you don't need a hat-"

Derpy got up in Rainbow Dash's face with an angry look. "What do you mean 'Don't need a hat'? I'm a detective. Detectives wear hats. I'm wearing a hat. Do the math!"

"I, er... what?"

Derpy backed up. "I'll be getting those fifty bits to pay for detective pants too! Picture me in pants, Rainbow Dash!"

Derpy spun and did a pose, making Rainbow Dash giggle a bit.

"Fine, if you really want to try to find my sunglasses..."

"I won't let you down, Rainbow Dash!"

Derpy flew away haphazardly, making sure she would find her friend's sunglasses.

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "This is going to be trouble..."

* * *

><p>Derpy sat suspiciously at an outdoor cafe and watched, with crossed eyes, as ponies walked around Ponyville doing their daily activities. The day was partly cloudy, some streaks of sunlight reflecting off of Derpy's notepad, perched on her detective hat.<p>

Derpy got out her small recorder and pressed the record button, not taking her eyes off of the ponies, who may have stolen her friend's sunglasses.

"_Tuesday... or maybe it's Wednesday... I need to ask somepony..._"

She removed her hoof from the record button and approached a nearby pony. "Excuse me sir, what day is it?"

"Wednesday."

Derpy went back to her seat and pushed the record button again.

"_Wednesday! Somepony stole Rainbow Dash's sunglasses, and I'm going to find them. I'll bring that pony... to justice!_"

She hit the table hard to emphasise her point, sending a hot cup of coffee into the air and making it spill all over somepony's head, burning them.

"MY EYES! **THEY BURRRNNN!**"

"Aw... my Justice Coffee..."

Derpy left the cafe without coffee, saddened it was all gone. While some ponies tried to calm down the screaming mare covered in hot coffee, Derpy took off flying.

"Okay... who to ask for leads... Rainbow Dash is friends with..."

* * *

><p>Pinkie Pie and Twilight were at Sugarcube Corner when Derpy kicked in the door, an angry look on her face.<p>

"**STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!**"

Twilight fell out of chair in shock and confusion. "Aah!"

Pinkie Pie munched into a cupcake. "Hiya, Derpy! What do you need?"

Derpy walked in and closed the door behind her. "Was that a good Detective Yell? I think it was."

"It was a great yell! What do you think Twilight?"

Twilight rubbed her head. "My ears..."

"Anyway," said Derpy, "I'm looking for Rainbow Dash's glasses. As you can tell from my hat and my Detective Yell, I'm assigned the case."

"Ooh, cool! Can I be your Detective Assistant?" said Pinkie Pie.

"No," said Derpy in a sudden deep voice, "I work _alone_."

"Aww..."

"I'm kidding, of _course_ you can be my assistant!"

"Yaaay!"

Derpy and Pinkie danced around while Twilight recovered from all the loud yelling.

"Okay," said Twilight, "You said you were trying to find Rainbow Dash's sunglasses?"

"Yep!"

"What locations have you checked?"

"This one."

"...well uh, have you asked Rainbow Dash where she was when she lost them?"

"Nope!"

"Derpy, you aren't making this easy..."

"What time is it?"

"12:30, but-"

Derpy narrowed her eyes at Twilight and got out her recorder.

"_Wednesday, 12:30. Twilight doubts I can do my job. She's due for interrogation..._"

"Derpy, I'm right here!"

"_Maybe hot wax..._"

"Derpy!"

Derpy looked up and hid her recorder with a sheepish smile.

Twilight sighed. "You should ask her, or ask the Wonderbolts. She's always hanging around them."

"Good idea! Let's go, my earth pony assistant!"

Pinkie Pie descended her stairs wearing nerd glasses, complete with tape.

"Let's do this!" she exclaimed.

Derpy and Pinkie rushed out of the bakery, leaving a confused Twilight behind.

"Does this mean I won't get my pastries?"

* * *

><p>"Let's ask the Wonderbolts!" said Derpy.<p>

"I'll go ask Rainbow Dash!" said Pinkie.

"We'll meet at the cafe when we're done?"

"Uh-huh!"

And so the two detectives went off, determined to prove themselves.


	2. Ch 2: New Ponies and C4

Detective Note Pad took another sip of tea and tried to relax. He'd been up without sleep for quite a while and tried to sleep.

Taking a deep breath, he exhaled and reclosed his eyes. And waited. And waited...

"Forget it," he said, "Can't sleep."

He watched the door open through his sunglasses.

"Note!" his boss said, "How are ya?"

Note Pad sighed. "What is it now?"

His boss arched an eyebrow. "Sheesh, just popped in to say hi. You look tired as hell."

"I feel worse."

"You should take a vacation. Hey, I got it!"

He reached into his pocket and procured a coupon, handing it to Note Pad.

"What's this?" asked Note.

"My cousin works at the spa. You should take the week off."

Note Pad examined the coupon. "Really?"

"Yeah. Can't have my workers looking like shit. Bad for business."

"Gee, thanks."

"Anytime." replied his boss with a smile.

* * *

><p>Derpy took to the skies to find the Wonderbolts. Pinkie was finding Rainbow Dash to help her retrace her steps.<p>

Flying above some clouds, she noticed several Pegasi out doing tricks and spins. One however, was easily recognizable. A blue pegasus stallion flying.

"I think that's Soarin!" said Derpy, "Maybe he knows where Rainbow Dash's sunglasses are!"

Flying towards him, she began to shout his name. He didn't hear her over the headphones. She flew closer, but her impaired vision and his constant tricks and maneuvers threw her off.

Finally reaching him, she managed to remove his headphones. He whirled around, surprised.

"Oh, hi Derpy! What's up?"

She gave him back his headphones. "Hi Soarin. Have you seen Rainbow Dash's sunglasses?"

"Can't say I have. Why don't you check the Wonderbolts track ohwaityouburneditdown..."

"I actually burned a cloud down!" said Derpy, smiling and proud. "Can't check there then..."

"Does she have any hangouts?" asked Soarin. "Besides the Won-" Soarin stopped. "Okay I seriously have to know, how did you make a giant cloud catch fire?"

Derpy didn't listen. She was too deep in thought. "Hm..."

"Also why are you wearing detective gear?"

"I'm a detective!" said Derpy, "And a GOOD one, too!"

"Okay..."

It was already three o' clock and Derpy had made little progress. She wondered how Pinkie was doing.

* * *

><p>"And now I'm here!" said Pinkie.<p>

"You're Derpy's assistant detective? Celestia help us all..."

"So, when exactly did you lose your sunglasses?" asked Pinkie.

"Last night," said Rainbow Dash. "At Vinyl's party."

"And what were-"

"You were THERE."

"-you doing when you lost them?"

"I passed out and they were gone when I awoke. Somepony MUST have taken them..."

"Got it! Now to ask Vinyl what she thinks! Thanks Dashie!"

Pinkie bounced off and went to look for Derpy.

* * *

><p>Note Pad entered the spa and was immediately hit with a sweet scent of flowers. His light red coat and black mane a contrast to the bright interior.<p>

"A bit feminine, but whatever."

He approached the front desk and showed his coupon, and not long after received his spa treatment.

"Please lie down, sir." said Aloe.

He lied down and got his massage.

_My boss' cousin sure is hot..._

Another mare reached to remove his sunglasses, but he stopped her.

"No, they stay on." he said.

The mare was slightly confused, yet continued with the treatment.

_What's so bad about his eyes?_ she thought.

* * *

><p>Derpy and Pinkie were outside Vinyl's home, contemplating their next move.<p>

"Dash's sunglasses are somewhere inside!" said Pinkie, "You ready, partner?"

Derpy nodded, holding up huge light brown packets and a small transmitter. "Yup! I got the C4 explosives!"

Derpy set the C4 packets around the doorframe. Then she backed up. Far.

"Shouldn't we knock?" asked Pinkie.

"Detectives don't knock, silly! They use explosives on innocent ponies!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Pinkie and Derpy turned to see Vinyl, levitating groceries behind her with magic.

"WH- WHY-"

"Oh you're back!" said Derpy, hiding the transmitter. "How are you?"

Vinyl quickly went to her house and pulled away the C4 packets. "Put this somewhere else!"

Derpy held up the transmitter. "What about-"

"No! Away!"

"Aw..."

Derpy handed the explosive equipment to Pinkie, who promptly ate it all.

"Okay," said Vinyl calming down, "Why were you putting C4-"

"The C stands for cupcake." said Pinkie.

"..."

":D"

"...Why are you here?"

Derpy spoke. "Rainbow Dash said her sunglasses were here. Have you seen 'em?"

"They might be here. Come in."

The trio entered the house and looked around. Vinyl had cleaned up significantly.

"Your house is surprisingly clean." said Derpy.

"Thank you." said Vinyl. "I got tired of trudging through my house."

The three searched high and low for quite a while. Derpy took a break and headed for the kitchen.

She munched on some chips and saw a pair of sunglasses off to the side.

Picking them up, she checked the side, where the initials "R.D." were shown.

"Oh mah gawd." said Derpy. "Pinkie, get over here!"

"Yes?" said Pinkie, bouncing into the kitchen.

Derpy wore the sunglasses and posed. "Look! I'm Pony Sheen!"

"AHAHAHAHA!" laughed Pinkie, rolling on the floor. "You look just like him!"

Derpy tossed the sunglasses to the side. "Okay, time to get serious. Did you check the bathroom?"

"Yup."

"The basement?"

"Mhm." nodded Pinkie.

"The garage?"

Pinkie nodded. "Why does Vinyl have a motorcycle?"

"We're NEVER gonna find these sunglasses..."

Derpy felt bad. She let her friend down. She might as well tell her it was pointless.

"This was a bad idea..." said Derpy picking up the sunglasses. "I gotta tell Dash I let her down..."

Derpy put the sunglasses on and smiled. "At least I can show her my Pony Sheen impression..."

The two departed from Vinyl's house in search of Rainbow Dash.

* * *

><p>Note Pad left the spa and cracked his neck.<p>

"Man, that felt good."

He looked back and waved at the spa ponies, who giggled and blushed, waving back.

"Now," said Note Pad, "What to do for a week..."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Reason chapter was delayed:**

**I write all my fics on my phone.**

**My phone broke.**

**I got a new one.**

**Mkay?**

**-Sharky**


	3. Ch 3: Meeting and Pants

Derpy and Pinkie galloped all the way to Rainbow Dash's cloud. Derpy flew up, wearing the sunglasses and carrying Pinkie with both hooves, flapping her wings to stay up.

They found Rainbow Dash asleep on her cloud, snoring softly. Derpy and Pinkie got closer until Derpy spoke.

"Rainbow Dash loooook!"

Rainbow Dash awoke slowly and yawned. The first thing she notices upon waking up is that Derpy is wearing her sunglasses.

Derpy smiled. "Duh, Winni-"

"My sunglasses!" said Rainbow Dash, taking them and examining them. They seemed fine.

"Where'd you find them?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"They were at Vinyl's house!" said Pinkie happily, still being carried by Derpy.

"Oh..." said Rainbow Dash, "I should have checked there."

She facehooved and gave Derpy her fifty bits. When she received them, Derpy smiled widely.

"I AM a great detective! Thanks, Rainbow Dash!"

She let go of Pinkie and gave Rainbow Dash a big hug. Pinkie landed below with a thud, in a daze.

"I'm gonna buy pants now!" exclaimed Derpy, flying off into town. Rainbow Dash put her sunglasses on and relaxed, content.

"Aw, I wanted to do more detective stuff!" said Pinkie below.

* * *

><p>Note Pad walked through town square, not sure what to do. <em>Take the week off,<em> his boss said. And do what? Ponyville was boring. There was never any action or excitement.

He walked on until he saw a grey pegasus flying haphazardly around.

"What the hell?"

The mare flew in circles until she nosedived and headed straight for him.

"Oh cra-"

**SLAM!**

Derpy had no idea what happened or what went wrong. She was flying towards a clothing store when her vision distorted as usual. However this time, there was a groaning stallion under her.

"Get. Off." he said.

She got up off of him. "Oh, sorry mister! I wasn't watching where I was going..."

He checked his face. Still had his sunglasses on. He dusted himself off and immediately noticed her abnormal eyes.

"Why are your eyes like that?" he asked, mentioning her crossed eyes.

"Oh, well..."

"Actually, why did you fly into me?" he asked, slightly more annoyed.

"Sorry..."

He rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"Hey, I don't think I've ever seen you before..." said Derpy. Yeah, he was definitely new to Ponyville.

"I'm here from Manehattan. A vacation, really..."

"Really, what's your job?"

_Never tell anypony you're a detective._

"I work with... paperwork."

"Okay!" said Derpy, accepting the vague answer.

"Right, well I should get going." he said, turning to leave.

"Wait!" said Derpy, "What's your name?"

_She's so annoying..._

"Note Pad." he said.

"My name is Derpy!" she said, beaming.

_Of course it is..._

He nodded slowly in understanding before leaving her, walking to get as far away from her as possible.

* * *

><p>Derpy smiled and entered the clothing store, and minutes later left with the greatest and most comfortable pants she had ever seen.<p>

The brown, jean-like pants were comfortable and fit greatly on the yellow-eyed mare. She posed, briefly showing the lower parts of it, which wrap snugly over her haunches. Its button was a brilliant bronze, snapping with a satisfying noise. Giggling, she flew up in them, it's flexibility and dark-brown belt holding it together. Two front pockets for holding bits and the like, and two back pockets for holding her trusty recorder. Stretching her legs, she smiled and fiddled with the zipper, making sure it's dark metal was secure.

"I feel like a million bits!" said Derpy. She took out her recorder and pressed REC.

"_Operation Clothe-The-Sexy now complete. Steps two and three: a two-hundred bit watch and a secretary!_"

Content and comfortable, she slipped the recorder into her back pocket and went off to tackle her next challenge, ready for Equestria. With pants.

* * *

><p>Note Pad relayed the thoughts again in his head.<p>

_That mare is crazy._

_Seriously, is she insane? And she needs flying lessons._

Pushing the thoughts out of his head, he continued walking through town.

"This is going to be boring as hell..."

Suddenly he felt somepony small tug his tail. Slightly annoyed, he met the sad face of a young filly. Dark blue coat with a purple mane.

"Excuse me sir, have you seen my bracelet?"

"No." he said simply.

"Can you help me look for it please?"

He rubbed his forehead. The last thing he wanted to do on vacation was help a small filly.

"I'm kind of busy. Can't you ask somepony else?"

"I need that bracelet..." she said, starting to cry.

"Ugh... fine, just stop crying. Do you even know where it might be?"

"It might be at the school..."

"Okay fine, just... follow me I guess..."

The small filly brightened up, but his mood wasn't much better. However, at least he had something to do.

The two headed towards the school, intent on finding a missing bracelet.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I need to update more... School is hard ;_;<strong>

**EDIT: What do you mean I double-posted? No I didn't. You're obviously mistaken.**

**-Sharky understands why you're upset and doesn't care in the slightest**


	4. Ch 4: Not in the Mood

"I can't find it!" cried Lyra. "Where is it?"

"Either theft in Equestria has skyrocketed, or we're all scatterbrains. What did you lose?" asked Bon Bon.

"My diary! I write EVERYTHING there!"

"Oh great..."

Suddenly a fast grey blur crashed through the window, spraying glass shards everywhere. Bon Bon and Lyra shrieked in surprise.

Derpy, wearing her amazing detective fedora and pants, posed in their living room.

"Did somepony say "detective"?"

"No," said Lyra, "We didn't!"

"Oh..." said Derpy.

"How could you have heard us if we did?" asked Bon Bon.

Their living room had glass shards everywhere. Lyra used magic to carefully pick them up and properly dispose of them.

Derpy was somehow unaffected by her entrance. She had no cuts or bruises, and was unfazed.

"There's nothing a professional detective like me can help with? Preferably for 200 bits? I want to buy a watch to go along with my hat and pants."

Lyra spoke. "Actually, I lost my diary."

Derpy smiled. "Perfect! And you can pay me if I find it?"

"Well yeah, but two hundred bits..."

"Sounds perfectly reasonable for a missing diary!" Derpy said with a smile, going to the two mares. "Do you know where it might be?"

"It was right here! Somepony must have stolen it!" said Lyra.

Lyra slumped onto the couch and sighed. Bon Bon put a hoof on her shoulder and tried to comfort her.

"Don't worry, I can help find it!" said Derpy.

"You will?" asked Lyra, hopeful.

"Yeah. You wanna come along?"

"Sure, I guess..." said Lyra.

"We'll have this case solved quickly!" said Derpy.

Lyra smiled at Derpy's enthusiasm. "Okay, heheh. Let's get started!"

* * *

><p>"Derpy, why am I being interrogated? I have my own journal..." said Twilight.<p>

Lyra shook her head. "Couldn't be Twilight that stole my diary, Derpy..."

* * *

><p>"How <strong>DARE<strong> you accuse me of stealing? What kind of filthy street pony do you think I am?" asked Diamond Tiara, the rich young filly.

"I don't think it was her, Derpy." said Lyra.

_Although I'd arrest her for being annoying..._

* * *

><p>Derpy and Lyra payed close attention to the animal before them. Only a few of these creatures have ever been spotted in Ponyville.<p>

The creature before them was pale, and stood on two legs. He wore a large amount of clothing, with headphones around his neck. He was fairly tall and lean, with blue eyes and black hair, with-

"You know how Mayor Mare feels about Humans, Lyra," said Derpy solemnly, "Take him to the incinerator."

"**WHAT?**" said the human in surprise, being lifted away by Lyra's magic.

* * *

><p>Derpy and Lyra took a break and sat at the local cafe. Lyra had coffee while Derpy snacked on a muffin and orange juice.<p>

"I hope we can find my diary..." said Lyra, saddened.

"I'm sure we will," said Derpy, happily munching on her muffin. "What's so important about that diary anyway?"

"Just general stuff I don't want to end up in the wrong hooves..."

"Okay." said Derpy. _Seems pretty vague..._

* * *

><p>Note Pad was getting slightly more annoyed by this filly apparently taking forever. The two were searching school grounds for her bracelet.<p>

"You said it was red?" asked Note Pad.

"Yeah," said the saddened filly, "I need it..."

"Can't you buy a new one?"

"This bracelet is special to me... I promised somepony I wouldn't lose it..."

"**Well you definitely let them down.**"

The filly sighed and remained sad. Note Pad simply rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and kept searching the playground.

He went by the swings, checked under the slide and under the sandbox. No bracelet.

He was already getting fed up, and honestly forgot why he was helping this filly in the first place.

"Hello there Violet Dusk!" said a mare. Note Pad didn't look up.

"Oh hey Cheerilee." he heard the filly reply. Violet Dusk was her name apparently.

"Who's your friend?" said Cheerilee. Note Pad figured that must have been him.

"I dunno... He's helping me find my bracelet." said Violet Dusk.

"Well that's awfully nice of him!"

Note Pad concluded the bracelet wasn't here. It was obviously taken.

He got up and turned to face them. "Your bracelet isn't here."

The filly teared up.

"Hey, what am I supposed to do?"

Note Pad saw past Violet Dusk, to two fillies walking side by side. A light pinkish one with a tiara, and a grey one with glasses. Note Pad took a closer look and saw that the one with the tiara was wearing a red bracelet.

"Hey, she has my bracelet!" said Violet Dusk.

Cheerilee went to the small fillies Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"Hello girls, you seem to have accidentally taken Violet Dusk's bracelet, and-"

"What? No, I found this at the playground! Finder's Keepers!"

"Come on!" said Violet Dusk, "It's mine! Look, if you see my initials-"

"It's **MY** bracelet! Get your own!" said Diamond Tiara.

"Yeah!" said her friend Silver Spoon.

Violet Dusk started to cry again, and looked to Note Pad for assistance.

Note Pad approached the two filles, an expression far from happy, and got up in their face.

"_Do you know what I hate more than liars, cheaters and thieves?_" he asked.

"N-No, what?" asked Diamond Tiara, nervously.

"**Children.**" he said, taking the bracelet from her.

Cheerilee was stunned. _How could anypony hate foals?_ she thought.

Note Pad handed Berry her bracelet back. She smiled and hugged him. "Thanks Mister! What's your name anyway?"

* * *

><p><em>"What's your name?" asked the small pale-blue filly. She was a unicorn with an indigo and pink mane, and green eyes. She had white freckles and a small purple bow in the side of her mane.<em>

_"Note Pad." said the small light-red colt._

_"Oh, I see... Your father..."_

_"Is nothing like me..." said Note Pad. "Just go away. I already know why you're here. To make fun of me like the others do..."_

_"I'm not..." said the little filly, nuzzling him, "I like your eyes..."_

_He felt warm and at ease with her nuzzling._

_"Sorry... I'm just so cold..." she said._

_"Let's go inside..." he said, "What's your name?"_

_"Candy Swirl."_

_"I like that name." he said._

_She nuzzled him again, more out of affection than trying to stay warm._

* * *

><p>Note Pad's head hurt from the memory. He broke away from the group and walked away without another word. Cheerilee was confused about his behavior.<p>

"M-Mister?" asked Violet Dusk.

"Just leave him, Violet..." said Cheerilee. "I don't think he's in the mood..."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Got started on this chapter as soon as I finished the previous one. Note Pad's past will eventually be fully revealed.<strong>

**I am not shipping Cheerilee and Note Pad by the way. Cheerilee x OC isn't original enough.**

**-Sharky's flank brings all the ponies to the yard**


	5. Ch 5: Watches and Diaries

He didn't care where he was going. He just had to get away. His head hurt and he didn't expect memories from the past to show up.

_Need to lie down..._

Note Pad realized he didn't even have a place to stay during his vacation. He didn't have any friends in Ponyville that could let him sleep anywhere.

_Guess I'll stay at an inn or something..._

* * *

><p>"What does your diary even look like?" asked Derpy. The two were still at the cafe.<p>

"It's green, with a white frame on the cover... no locks..." said Lyra. She slumped and hit her head on the table, keeping it there and groaning in frustration. Derpy spoke.

"Hey, come on. It could be worse. The diary could have like, no locks on it."

Lyra facehooved. "That's what I just... we're never going to find it..."

Derpy drank from her iced coffee, trying to come up with a plan. She saw Pinkie Pie rounding the corner and bouncing towards them.

"Hi Derpy! Hey Lyra!" she said happily.

"Hey Pinkie!" said Derpy.

"Hey Pinkie..." said Lyra, sad.

"Why so sad?" asked Pinkie. She bounced up and landed on the table, spilling drinks. "Pinkie will turn that frown upside-down!"

Lyra sighed. "Not really in the mood, Pinkie..."

Pinkie pouted, then smiled again. "Okay!"

Lyra arched an eyebrow. "Why are you so happy, anyway?"

Pinkie smiled and reached into her poofy pink mane, protruding a fairly small green book. "Becaaaause I just read the greatest fanfiction ever!"

Lyra's heart stopped.

Derpy spoke. "Hey! That looks just like the book Lyra said she- ohhhhh..."

Lyra snatched the book from Pinkie's grasp and held it to her chest like a madpony. "PINKIE! YOU READ MY DIARY!"

Pinkie shrugged. "So what? Everypony else did."

Lyra twitched. "What..."

Pinkie nodded. "Yeah! I saw Colgate reading it and I thought it looked cool so I read it and I showed Rainbow Dash and Junebug and the Cakes' and also babies can't read."

Lyra looked rushed. "Who else in Ponyville read my diary?"

Derpy returned to the table with a muffin, munching into it. "Hm?"

Lyra spoke. "Derpy, my diary! Almost everypony read it!"

"That reminds me, you still owe me two hundred bits."

"What? I never even agreed to that!"

"How else am I going to pay for my watch?" asked Derpy.

Lyra sighed. Things were not well at all. Everypony in Ponyville had read her diary, as far as she was concerned. She felt nauseated and nervous.

Derpy spoke. "Also, did Pinkie say... fanfiction?"

"Yep!" said Pinkie, "Her diary is FULL of it!"

Lyra blushed.

"What kind of fanfiction, Lyra?" asked Derpy.

"The NAUGHTY kind!" said Pinkie.

Lyra blushed more. "Okay! Sheesh..."

"Well at least we found it," said Derpy, "Nothing else to do, right?"

"What if somepony else read my di-" said Lyra.

"You can figure that out on your own time!" said Derpy, "I still want my two-hundred bits!"

Lyra sighed and rubbed her forehead.

* * *

><p>It was only several minutes later that the three mares went shopping for Derpy's watch.<p>

They entered the small store and looked around. Derpy trotted around, happy with her new pouch of bits.

"Why did I even pay you that much?" asked Lyra.

Derpy went from glass pane to glass pane looking for a watch worthy of her hoof. She glanced around with Pinkie, who also looked to buy one.

Derpy oohed and aahed at almost every watch she saw, and the stallion behind the counter was getting rather impatient.

"What's your name?" asked Derpy to the stallion.

"Clockwork." he said.

":3"

"Are you going to buy a watch?"

"Yesh."

"Anything in particular you like?"

Derpy thought. "Well I don't like clocks with hands-"

"Analog...?"

"-because my eyes spin all the time. Can I have a digital one?"

The stallion directed her to a counter of all digital watches, and Derpy looked over all of them.

"Ooooh! That one!" said Derpy, pointing to a watch.

The stallion took the watch out of the display and handed it to her. Derpy looked it over and was content with the black and green watch.

"I'll take this one!" said Derpy, "How much?"

"Four hundred bits." replied the stallion.

Derpy smiled at Lyra, who had been watching the two.

"NO!" yelled Lyra, "I am NOT spending MORE bits on you!"

* * *

><p>"This watch is awesome!" said Derpy. She pushed the buttons on it and adjusted the strap. The black and green watch was now secure on her hoof, ready to tell her when it was problem-solving time.<p>

Lyra rolled her eyes. "You better not lose it. I paid for ALL of it."

"Thank you!" said Derpy.

"Yeah, thanks for helping find my diary. I'll find out who read from it soon enough."

With that, Lyra left the two and went on her way. Pinkie smiled with a watch of her own.

"Now what?" asked Pinkie.

"Let's find us a new case!" said Derpy.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Short chapter is short and mediocre. Next one will be better. This was delayed cause I was working on school and making music and laziness.<strong>

**-Sharky used to be an adventurer like you, but then he settled down and got married**


	6. Ch 6: Sandwiches

Derpy and Pinkie walked through Ponyville with their new watches and detective garb. Derpy flew close to the ground, slowly flapping her wings to stay up as she fiddled with her detective hat and flew alongside Pinkie, who walked and hummed a tune.

"I just had the greatest idea ever." said Derpy.

"Oooh!" said Pinkie, stopping her humming, interested, "Lemme hear it!"

Derpy grinned. "We'll need an industrial-sized air conditioner, a bucket of honey, access to the Royal Castle..."

They heard a crying pony, and after exchanging glances, Pinkie and Derpy made their way quickly around a corner. The two spotted Raindrops, a pegasus mare, tending to a little filly.

"What's going on?" asked Derpy, approaching the two.

Raindrops turned to her. "This little filly says she lost her parents!"

Derpy flew to the little filly. "Have no fear little filly. I can help you!"

The little light blue filly smiled slightly and wiped her tears. "You will?"

"Absolutely! I'm a detective!" proudly.

Pinkie smiled. "Woohoo! New mission!"

"I'll come too." said Raindrops.

The three ponies set out to help find the little filly's parents.

* * *

><p>Note Pad awoke in his inn room. He felt better, but not overly well rested. He yawned and cracked his neck, getting up and walking out, preparing for the day.<p>

He walked out of the inn and down the street.

"Nothing much to do in Ponyville." he said. He passed a couple frantically searching for something. Note Pad could see their sense of urgency.

"I should work... get some money. But on the other hoof I don't really care, so..."

He turned to walk the opposite direction. The weather was quite nice, a faint smell of cupcakes filled his nostrils, and the couple was still worriedly looking for something.

He sighed and decided to help. Approaching them, he spoke.

"You guys okay?"

"No!" said the nervous mare, "We lost our baby!"

Note Pad wanted to stop already. He didn't like children. He already wanted to go back to Manehattan, but couldn't. His boss practically shooed him out to "enjoy his vacation".

"Can you help us?" asked the equally nervous stallion.

"Sure," said Note, "For how much?"

"We'll work out a price later, just help!" said the mare.

Note Pad sighed softly and agreed. Money was money.

"Okay," said Note, "Let's go find your kid."

* * *

><p>"We'll find your parents soon." said Raindrops, "Don't worry little filly."<p>

"Okay..." she said.

"What's your name?" asked Derpy.

"Tasty Treat..." replied the little filly.

"We're professional detectives. We totally got this."

* * *

><p>"I thought you were helping me find my mommy. Why are we here?" said the little filly.<p>

"Relax. We know what we're doing!" said Pinkie happily.

Derpy moved into the microphone.

"HELLOOOOO?" she yelled.

She heard a scream from the other line. "Owww! The mic is on! Why would you yell like that! Ow..."

Derpy smiled. "Can I have a large hay sandwich with mayo?"

"Oooh!" said Pinkie, "I'll have a daisy sandwich with EXTRA mayo!"

Raindrops spoke. "Uh girls, shouldn't we maybe focus on-"

"You're kinda fat," said Derpy to Raindrops, "I'll order you a sandwich, but no mayo for you."

"Hey!" said Raindrops, "I'm not fat!"

"Whatever you say, Jiggles. Can I have a sandwich without mayo? Oh, and a kids meal." said Derpy.

"Is that all?" replied the voice.

"Yush! :3"

"Twelve bits please."

"Raindrops, I need to borrow some money." said Derpy, smiling with her derped yellow eyes.

"No! You came to a fast food restaurant without money? Why would you do this?" said Raindrops. "Furthermore, who comes to a restaurant with a little filly who lost her parents? You're on a case."

"I can't work on an empty stomach," said Derpy defensively.

Raindrops grumbled and fished in her saddlebag for bits.

Minutes later, Derpy and the others sat eating their sandwiches.

"I wanted mayo..." said Raindrops.

"Lose those jelly rolls first." said Derpy, pointing to Raindrops' barrel.

"I'm NOT fat!" said Raindrops. Finally she gave in and just ate her sandwich.

"How's your sandwich, Treat?" said Pinkie to the little filly, who hungrily nommed her sandwich.

"It's good!" said Treat. "But we really do need to find my parents after this..."

"Of course!" said Derpy. She checked the time and pulled out her recorder, once again hitting the small REC button to begin her log.

"_I forgot what day it is. Tasty Treat is missing her parents. Little filly on the run in a scary, horrifying town..._"

Colgate walked by. "Hi Derpy!"

"Hi Colgate!" replied the yellow-eyed mare. She resumed her log.

"_Danger-filled town of Ponyville, Equestria. I'll find Treat's parents. And when I do, I will kill them._"

"WHAT!" yelled Raindrops.

"_This is Derpy "Ditzy" "Bright Eyes" Hooves, signing out._"

She clicked the off button and set the recorder back in her bag.

"I'm going to regret joining this group, aren't I?" said Raindrops.

"You're paying for your own hat and watch." said Derpy.

Pinkie took another huge bite out of her sandwich. "We're gonna make SO much bits being detectives, Derpy! What happened to your old job anyway?"

Derpy turned. "What do you mean?"

"Weren't you a mailpony before becoming a detective."

"I haven't delivered any mail in weeks."

"But we only became detectives days ago."

"What's your point?" asked Derpy.

"I dunno!" said Pinkie giggling.

Raindrops sighed. "It's like dealing with children..."

"Tell me about it." said the little filly.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Meh. I'll think of something later.<strong>

**-Sharky**


	7. Act 1 End: Partners?

Note Pad continued walking with the mare and stallion, who were nervous and fearful of something happening to their foal.

"It'll be fine," said Note reassuringly, "We're almost to her, I'm sure."

"If you say so..." said the worried mother.

Note didn't like how nervous and jittery this mare was, even if she did lose her foal somewhere. It reminded him of his own mother.

It felt as if the three walked all around town, even asking others if they'd seen the filly. After about half an hour of more walking, Note Pad saw a familiar pony off in the distance.

"Oh great... _Her_..."

The entire process didn't take very long. Note Pad saw as the little filly far off, looked up and grinned, quickly running to her parents and hugging them tight. He saw the cross-eyed mare smile and high-hoof her pink earth pony friend.

Note Pad caught to to the rest and analyzed all their smiles through his sunglasses.

He also saw Derpy approach him with a goofy grin.

"Hiya, Note!" she said to him, almost as if she was glad to see him.

"Hello, Derpy," he replied.

"Looks like we worked together to solve the Case of the Missing Filly!"

Note Pad thought. "We... worked together?"

"Well technically, yes!" she said happily.

"I... I guess we did," he said with a smirk.

Derpy tilted her head to the side rather adorably and spoke. "You always wear sunglasses?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Why?"

"Because," he stated simply.

"Because why?" she asked.

Note Pad rubbed his muzzle in slight annoyance. "I don't want to talk about this now."

Derpy looked over at Pinkie and Raindrops. They were talking to the reunited family.

"We should talk sometime then!" she said.

He raised his eyebrow in curiosity. "You mean like a date?"

He saw her face immediately redden with a blush. "N-No!" she said. "I mean... Uh, no."

He smirked again. Well she's actually nice when she's not flying into things.

He looked around. Surely somepony may have lost something by now. He thought of an enjoyable competition; he loved competitions.

"Alright, listen here, Derpy," he said to her. She smiled and paid attention.

He resumed speaking. "Let's be temporary partners. If you can solve a case before I can, I'll agree to dinner with you."

She blushed again. "I-I didn't mean it like that!" She tried to hide her red face with a hoof.

"But if I win," he said, "You need to quit being a detective."

Derpy gasped. It was a serious gasp. One of surprise and shock, not surprise and happiness. You know exactly the kind I'm talking about.

"B-But, I don't wanna stop being a detective!" she said.

He smirked again. "Better hope you win."

Derpy thought it over.

"Challenge accepted!"

They shook hooves and went over to the others. The mother was talking to Pinkie Pie, and the father spoke to Note. "Thank you so much. We'll never forget this."

"It's fine," said Note, "No charge either."

The father smiled, and the little filly also talked him.

"Thanks mister!"

"No problem," he said. The family eventually departed and left Pinkie Pie and Raindrops with Note Pad and Derpy.

"Pinkie Pie, Note Pad here is my new assistant. Temporarily. For a competition." said Derpy.

Pinkie frowned, yet nodded. "Temporarily!" said Pinkie.

"Temporarily." replied Derpy with a smile.

"What about me?" asked Raindrops.

"Remember what I said about the mayo," said Derpy, "And go hang with Pinkie or something."

They left Note Pad and Derpy alone.

"Shall we find a case?" asked Note Pad, adjusting his sunglasses.

"Let's shall." said Derpy, shocking Note Pad with her brief sudden accent change as she adjusted her detective hat, then pants, then watch.

Then they were off.


	8. Act 2: New Arrival

"THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND."

"We're WALKING, Miss Hooves."

"TO TELL US THE TIME."

"Ugh... I'm going to regret being friendly. I just know it."

The two detectives, Note Pad and Derpy Hooves, pressed on in search of a case for their competition.

"Are you even _licensed_?" asked Note, "I'm a professional detective. You're just... well, unprofessional."

"Pfft, unprofessional my right hoof! I'm as professional as the next pony," replied Derpy, "So there."

"You know, it isn't necessary to wear pants. Ponies are staring at you."

"Of course they are! They just want my sexy flank." snapped Derpy, waving her tail to prove a point.

"Is that why you told me your cutie mark is bubbles? You're a bubble butt?" replied Note Pad with a smirk.

Derpy blushed. "Shut up! And please tell me you aren't wearing those sunglasses indoors."

"Why?"

"That's dumb."

"You wouldn't know dumb if it flew straight."

"Hey, just because I failed flight camp thirty times-"

"Oh Celestia..."

"-doesn't make me dumb! My mother told me I was special!" said Derpy defensively.

"So did mine..." said Note.

* * *

><p><em>The light red colt walked home from school as always. He entered his house and put his bag down, watching his mother cooking.<em>

_"How was school?" she said with a smile._

_"I hate school." he responded solely._

_"But you're doing fantastic, Note. Flawless, even. It's what your teacher said." praised his mother._

_"You know WHY I hate school, mom..." he said, slumping in the kitchen chair._

_His mother sighed and went over to him, holding up his chin and looking into his eyes._

_"Your eyes aren't a problem, sweetie. You're no different than the other kids. You're just special." she kissed his forehead, "It's perfectly fine."_

_He smiled, and frowned again. "I guess so..."_

* * *

><p>Note shook his head.<p>

"Miss Hooves, I should ask, have you ever been teased for your eyes?"

Derpy stopped and put a hoof under her chin in thought. "Hm... Well yeah, some ponies back in school. But not really anymore." She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"No reason," he said.

"Okay..." said Derpy, "I wonder what our first case together's gonna be."

"You're confident you'll win?"

"Yeah!" she said, "Look at these clothes!"

Derpy stopped and posed, showing off her comfy, stylish jean pants, her watch, and her detective hat. Her tail aimlessly wagging, she grinned.

Note Pad raised an eyebrow. "Clothes don't make a great detective."

"You're right," said Derpy, "Having a great flank helps. And instinct!"

"Well instinct yes," replied Note.

"Don't deny I have a great flank," said Derpy grinning.

Note Pad rolled his eyes through his sunglasses.

* * *

><p>Rose smiled at all her progress, happy with her sales for the day. Lots of ponies were buying flowers, and her shift was almost over.<p>

Her sister approached. "Hey sis!"

Rose greeted her sister, and as usual, signed out. They both turned their heads in time to see a pony approach.

A stallion.

He had nothing peculiar about him, aside from a metallic left forehoof. Rose winced sightly.

"What's his problem?" asked her sister, "I've never seen him before."

"Neither have I, Lily..." replied Rose.

The stallion approached the flower stand. He had a very light green coat, and a dark green mane. Rose involuntarily glanced down at his metallic hoof, and all its unusual features. He was an earth pony as well.

"...Can I help you?" asked Rose, putting on her friendliest voice.

"Actually you can," said the stallion, "I'm here looking for somepony. A bit shorter than me, light red coat, should be wearing sunglasses _all the freaking time_."

His cold voice made her stutter. "I-I don't..." was all Rose could say.

He leaned in close and raised an eyebrow; if anything, he was quite charismatic in appearance. "I know he's here. I came for him. You mean you haven't seen him?"

"N-No..."

"Darn shame..." he said, bringing his cold metallic hoof to her chin, staring deep into her eyes. Rose blushed and exhaled.

"Wh-Who..."

"If you see him, tell him his brother came to pick him up."

* * *

><p>"So... Are you with anypony?" asked Derpy, looking at Note Pad.<p>

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Wh-What I mean is, do you have a mare? A girlfriend?"

He chuckled. "Not at the moment, why?"

"Well-"

At that moment, the two heard a loud cry for help. Their ears pricked up. There was no time to lose. They ran forward with haste.


	9. A2 Ch 2: Competition and Missing Bag

Derpy and Note Pad continued running towards the scream.

"What happened?" yelled Derpy to Note.

"I'm not sure!"

They reached the marketplace, where they saw a white unicorn mare frantically searching the ground.

"Where IS IT?" cried the mare. She had a purple mane and looked like she took great care in her appearance.

"Oh, nevermind," said Derpy, "It's just Rarity."

"She looks like she lost something," said Note, "Can we race to find it for our competition?"

Derpy frowned. "Rarity doesn't like me so much..."

"How come?" asked Note Pad.

"Sometimes I break her stuff... Or request muffin dresses..."

Note Pad chuckled. "Let's just ask. We'll be on our way soon."

"Alright."

They walked over to Rarity who immediately noticed them. Or rather, she noticed Note Pad.

"Well hello there~" she said, immediately getting close to him and fluttering her eyelashes, "I've never seen you before. What is your name, dear?"

"Note Pad," he said.

"That's nice~" she said, "Won't you please help a poor mare find her lost saddlebag?"

Derpy rolled her eyes.

"I can help too. I'm a detective, Rarity!"

Rarity glanced at Derpy. "Yes yes, of course darling." She went back to Note Pad, "Well~?"

"Sure, fine, for a price." he said with a smirk.

"Fine fine, yes."

Note Pad knew he'd win the competition against Derpy. He thought of a plan already.

"How about... a hundred bits?" he said.

Rarity fluttered her eyelashes again. "How about a date instead~?"

"Er, no. A hundred bits."

Derpy smiled.

"Alright..." said Rarity.

Rarity gave Note Pad the address to her boutique, which he shared with Derpy.

Rarity soon left to head back home, relying on the "cute detective" to help her.

"Alright," said Note, "Now, the competition starts. You already took notes, right?"

"Right!" said Derpy.

"Okay, first one to find Rarity's purse wins. Remember, if I win, you can't be a detective anymore."

"And if I win..." said Derpy, with a huge blush. She didn't finish her sentence.

Note Pad smirked and nodded. "Yeah. Ready?"

"Yes."

The two quickly went their separate ways to look for Rarity's purse.

Note Pad thought again of how he could put those hundred bits to good use.

* * *

><p>Derpy asked around for information on Rarity's missing saddlebag. Everypony knew about it, sure, considering she recently got the entire bag bedazzled. It was hard to forget a saddlebag so shiny and blinding to the eyes in the sun.<p>

Derpy fished the small recorder out of her pants pocket and clicked it on.

"I am now racing against time-and Note Pad-to find Rarity's missing saddlebag!" she said into the small device, "One hundred bits for it! I should have reasoned for three hundred..."

When that was done, she placed the small recorder back in her pocket and continued walking.

She got hungry on the way, so she stopped at the Sugarcube Corner for a snack. Inside, she found Twilight and Pinkie Pie. Twilight was reading into a science book while Pinkie Pie approached with rainbow cupcakes.

"Interesting..." said Twilight, biting into a cupcake and examining her book, "The fourth dimension has to do with time..."

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Twilight, I cross the fourth dimension all the time!" She noticed Derpy walk in.

"Hey boss!" said Pinkie Pie, smiling. Derpy smiled as well.

"Hello assistant detective!" said Derpy. "I came for the muffins! Also, have you guys seen Rarity's saddlebag?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "She's always losing things now. She might as well be the element of forgetfulness."

Pinkie Pie ate a cupcake somberly. "That wouldn't be a very good element..."

Pinkie entered the kitchen and returned with muffins for Derpy, who explained why she needed to find Rarity's saddlebag before her new assisstant.

"That Note Pad guy will make you not be a detective anymore?" said Pinkie with a gasp. "That's mean!"

"Well it isn't gonna happen if I find it quickly!" said Derpy, making a triumphant pose. She took a bite of the muffin. As always, they were the best things in Equestria.

"You girls have no idea where Rarity's bag might be?" asked Derpy.

"Did you check her boutique?" asked Twilight.

Derpy shook her head. "I didn't!"

"Well go then, before it's too late!"

Derpy flew quickly out the door, stopped, flew back into the store for her muffins, then flew back out, making haste for the Carousel Boutique. Note Pad should already be heading there, and she was sure she could beat the earth pony detective with her wing power.

Flying overhead, Derpy indeed noticed Note Pad calmly cantering to the boutique. He didn't look up and see her, so Derpy flew directly above him until he reached the boutique entrance and knocked on the door.

Rarity opened the door and greeted him. Derpy couldn't hear their conversation; she instead flew to the roof entrance of her boutique.

There was a small trap door on the roof of the Carousel Boutique, big enough for anypony to enter. Derpy's eyes lit up as she spied the door, and brought her hooves to the mechanism to unlock it. It wouldn't budge. She heaved and began pulling on it with both hooves.

* * *

><p>"Now then, are you here to search the premises?" asked Rarity. Note Pad simply nodded.<p>

"Well come in, darling!" she said, and moved aside to he could enter. Note Pad could feel her staring at him.

"Did you check every room?" asked Note Pad, turning to face her.

"Maybe you could check... the bedroom, darling." she said, with a hint of something in her voice.

"After I check the ground floor," he said.

Rarity frowned and nodded.

* * *

><p>With a final grunt, Derpy clenched her teeth and heaved the trap door open. It looked like it wasn't in use for quite some time, and Derpy could see the ground inside. She stepped through the corridor and landed on marble.<p>

"Is this Rarity's bedroom?"

She remembered she had to stay quiet. Looking around, she found nothing useful to help determine where Rarity's saddlebag was. She had almost given up hope of searching, if she hadn't noticed a small written note on her nightstand.

She read the note, her eyes becoming wider with each sentence. She gasped and almost squeaked. She knew exactly where Rarity's saddlebag was supposed to be.


	10. A2 Ch 3: And The Winner Is

Derpy carefully put the letter back where she found it and thought of what to do.

_Note and Rarity should still be downstairs..._

She made her way back up the trapdoor and onto the roof again, closing the trapdoor behind her. She took to the skies and flew to where Rarity's bag should be.

* * *

><p>"Oh, but don't you want to stay, darling?" asked Rarity, "I can make tea, or-"<p>

"No," said Note Pad, "I'm fine, really."

He wordlessly moved into the kitchen and searched high and low there, with no results. He checked every room on the first floor and found nothing.

"Can I check upstairs?" he asked.

She smiled. "Certainly!"

He ascended the staircase and reached her bedroom, opening the door and heading inside. Everything looked clean and tidy.

"I don't think it's in there," said Rarity. _But I can tell the other girls he was in my bedroom now!_

He stepped into the middle of the room, looked under her bed, and found nothing. Nothing but a small yellow hair lay on the floor. He picked it up and examined it.

"Do you dye your mane?" he asked, looking at the hair closely.

"No," she said, "Well, my mane wasn't always purple, but-"

He ignored what she said and went over to nightstand, finding a letter. It appeared to have been tampered with. He quickly read it as Rarity continued rambling, then set it back into place.

"Nevermind," he said, as he looked up and saw the trap door. "I should get going," he said with a smirk.

He turned to face her, but she was already lying on her bed. She giggled, which got his attention.

"Miss Rarity?" he said.

Rarity posed and pouted on the bed, a hoof under her chin. She looked at him.

"Are you suuuure you can't stay a little longer~?" she coaxed, her eyes glistening.

_Derpy was here. She definitely knows something._ he thought.

"Maybe another time, Rarity," he said as he exited her bedroom quickly, "But I really must be going!"

He galloped down the stairs and out the door.

"Why do they always run?" asked Rarity with a sigh.

* * *

><p>Derpy flew overhead to Sweet Apple Acres. She had delivered packages there before, and was used to flying above the large open field. She approached the house and knocked eagerly on it.<p>

"Hold yer horses, Ah'm comin!" heard Derpy. An orange earth pony mare opened the door and looked her over.

"Well howdy, Derpy! What can I do ya for?"

"Hi Applejack," said Derpy, "Can I check your barn?"

"Pardon?" said Applejack, tilting her head to the side.

Derpy sighed. "I need to check your barn because I'm pretty sure Rarity left her saddlebag in there."

Applejack stared blankly. "Wait, why?"

Derpy looked nervously to the side. "Oh, I dunno, maybe... reasons..."

"She left her bag in mah barn because reasons?" said Applejack, "And what's with that hat? And why are you wearing pants? And a watch? You're a mailmare for pony's sake."

"Rrr, I'm a detective now! I solve cases and make awesome amounts of bits and bought this hat, these awesome pants-" said Derpy, shaking her flank to prove her point, "-and this awesome watch! I'm in a race and need to find Rarity's bag-"

Applejack stuck her hoof in Derpy's mouth to silence her. "Whoa there, calm down. Alright whatever."

Derpy grinned and went to Applejack's barn. She opened it up and peered inside.

"Where's the light switch?" said Derpy aloud to Applejack."

"It's a barn," said Applejack.

"What's your point?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Is the bag in there?"

Derpy went in circles, checking every nook and cranny of the barn, inside and out. She gasped.

"I found it!" she exclaimed, holding the large, bedazzled saddlebag up. She beamed. _I won the competition!_

"Ah don't understand," said Applejack, "Why was Rarity's bag in mah barn?"

Derpy slung the bag on. "Well," she said, "Rarity's bag was in here because Rarity and your brother had a little rah... randy... randey..."

Applejack tilted her head. "A what?"

"Randei... ra-they had a meeting." Derpy said simply.

"A meetin'? What for?" asked Applejack.

"Well," Derpy shuffled a hoof on the barn floor, "It uh... it's like, a meeting for "adult" ponies. I found a letter in Rarity's bedroom. I guess she's been seeing your brother for a long while now."

"She _what!_" exclaimed Applejack, red in the face.

"Your brother has baaaad hoofwriting..." said Derpy.

* * *

><p>Derpy and Applejack exited the barn as Note Pad came walking down towards them. He took a look at Derpy and smirked.<p>

"I see you found the bag," he said.

Derpy posed proudly. "Heck yeah I did! I win! I can still be a detective!"

"Refresh my memory, what would you get if you won again?" asked Note.

"I would..." Derpy blushed and looked away.

Note Pad smiled behind his sunglasses. "You would use the bits to take me out to a date?"

Derpy didn't say anything. She just blushed and looked at the ground with her crooked eyes.

He tried changing the subject. "You practically cheated. I should have said no wings allowed."

She looked up again. "I didn't cheat! It's your fault for not mentioning it!" She narrowed her eyes, and he pressed on.

"You completely cheated," he said, smirking, "I would have won if it wasn't for your wings. I'm surprised you could even see properly with those eyes of yours."

Derpy was frustrated. "You're just mad because I made a hundred bits!"

"By cheating," he added.

Derpy growled, and Applejack laughed.

"You two would make a funny couple," said Applejack. Derpy blushed again and gritted her teeth.

"No we wouldn't!" said Derpy.

Note Pad looked at Applejack. "Did Derpy tell you about..."

Applejack's expression turned to one of distaste. "Big Mac is in fer a heap of trouble..."

* * *

><p>Derpy wore Rarity's saddlebag as she walked through Ponyville with Note Pad, on their way back to Rarity's boutique.<p>

"Nice move using the roof," he said.

Derpy fluttered her wings. "Being a pegasus is awesome!"

Note Pad nodded. "I hate being an earth pony sometimes."

"Really?" asked Derpy.

"Yeah," he said, "Sometimes I'd like to try magic, or fly through the sky... Just to feel the breeze on my coat and everything."

Derpy frowned. "Sorry about that."

They continued walking towards Rarity's boutique, when Derpy suddenly tripped and fell over, hitting the ground hard.

"Owwww!" she said.

Note Pad laughed. "Good one."

"Aren't you going to help me up?" she asked, waving a hoof up.

"Why would I do that?" he said, smiling.

Derpy sighed and got up, dusting herself off. She rolled her eyes. "Let's just keep going..."


	11. A2 Ch 4: Dinner Date

Derpy and Note Pad eventually made it to Rarity's boutique. Note Pad knocked on the door and waited alongside Derpy, who's eyes drifted around aimlessly.

_She's determined, I'll give her that._

Rarity opened up and smiled at Note Pad. "Hello again Mister Pad!" She looked over at Derpy. "My bag!"

Rarity took her bag back from Derpy, slinging it on. "Thank you, Note Pad," she said with a smile.

"Hey!" said Derpy, "I found the bag, not him!"

Rarity and Note Pad both ignored her and spoke.

"Now then, the bits?" said Rarity.

"Of course," said Note Pad.

Rarity went inside the boutique and returned with a small pouch of bits, giving them to Note Pad. He smirked and put them away.

"Thank you, Miss Rarity," said Note Pad, "Have a good day. Derpy, let's go."

"Um, don't you want my contact information so that we may go on a date-" and then Rarity was cut off when Note Pad himself closed her door in her face.

Note Pad wordlessly turned and walked, with Derpy heading close behind him. It was almost evening and Derpy's stomach rumbled.

"I'm hungry too," said Note Pad, much to Derpy's embarrassment. He stopped shortly to give her the bit pouch that she had earned.

"Where are we eating?" he asked, surprisingly kindly.

Derpy looked around. "Um... there's this great restaurant in Cloudsdale..."

"No wings," said Note Pad, referring to himself.

"Oh right..."

"And please, none of this "Sugarcube Corner" nonsense either. I don't plan on wasting all my good money on my dentist."

Derpy smiled, then giggled at this. "Okay um... oh! I know a place!"

* * *

><p>Note Pad was surprised with her choice. He never thought such a fancy restaurant could exist in Ponyville. And yet here he was, seated across from Derpy in what was known as The Silver Barn.<p>

The lighting was great and not too bright, and everything about this place was "Ponyville Fancy". Even light music played in the distance.

"Derpy, there's no way you could afford this with just a hundred bits," said Note Pad.

"Oh well uh, I had a lot more left over from my old job. It's fine." said Derpy.

Note Pad figured the least he could do was help pay.

"What was your old job?" he asked, intrigued.

"I was a mailmare," said Derpy, "I became a detective this morning," she said smiling.

He nodded. "Do you have a boyfriend or something that knows about your sudden, unannounced, ridiculous "job change"?"

Derpy frowned. "I'm single. It's just me and my daughter Dinky."

Note Pad paused. "Oh..."

There was an awkward moment of silence before their waiter came with their complimentary bread and wine. He left shortly after.

Derpy immediately reached for the wine bottle, pouring herself a glass. "It's kinda hard, raising little Dinky by myself..." she said, shortly downing the glass.

Note Pad felt some regret at bringing up the topic. "If you don't mind my asking, Derpy, who was..."

Derpy gave him a sullen "please don't ask" look. He changed the topic.

"Easy with the wine, you're drinking it down like water."

"It's good," she replied, "You should have some."

"I don't drink," he stated simply.

"How come?" asked Derpy, "Afraid you'll get so drunk you'll take off those glasses? They're practically goggles."

He frowned. "I don't drink because my father drank."

Derpy was confused. "And that's... bad?"

Note Pad nodded. "He drank too much, Derpy." He glanced away. "I don't want to talk about him anymore. I mean it."

"I'm sorry..." said Derpy, sighing.

Note Pad tried changing the subject. "How old is your daughter?"

"Seven," said Derpy.

"Oh, nice..." said Note Pad.

Eventually their waiter returned with menus. Note Pad and Derpy settled on pasta.

Note Pad swirled his fork around his pasta. He felt so awkward and out of place. Derpy looked up at him.

"You're from where again?"

"Manehattan," he said.

"I've always wanted to go there," said Derpy, twirling pasta around her fork, "I delivered packages a few times, but I've never relaxed there or enjoyed the scenery."

She ate her pasta, enjoying the flavor and having more.

"You spend enough time anywhere, you realize there's not much to look at," said Note.

"I'm sure there is if you're open-minded," said Derpy, having more pasta.

"So you're saying I'm close-minded?" asked Note.

"What?" said Derpy, "N-No, I'm not..."

Note Pad rolled his eyes behind his dark sunglasses. He looked back up from his pasta at Derpy. She was staring down at her food with a sad expression.

"Nevermind," she said.

Note Pad had to admit, Derpy was great-looking. The light of the restaurant really brought out her bright yellow eyes.

Even if they were showing sadness.

_Something feels off..._ thought Note Pad.

Yet despite their growing tension, they continued to silently eat pasta.

Derpy glanced up slightly to look at him. With his dark glasses which covered his eyes from view, his light red coat, and black mohawk mane (similar to that pony with the hourglass cutie mark, now that Derpy thought about it), she thought about how handsome he actually was.

_I wish he'd notice me_, she thought to herself.


	12. A2 Ch 5: One Step Back

A very quiet hour passed between Derpy and Note Pad. A very awkward, long hour. Neither touched their food or even felt like eating anymore.

"Are you finished?" asked Note Pad.

"Um... yeah, I guess I'm done," said Derpy, pushing away her plate. Note Pad called over the waiter to bring the check.

The two walked outside towards Derpy's house.

"It's the next left," said Derpy.

Note Pad nodded and brought his gaze down, involuntarily looking over Derpy's flank without her knowing.

_So that's why she has bubbles for a cutie mark, _thought Note,_ she has a VERY nice bubble butt... what? What am I saying?_

Note shook his head and kept going, turning to find Derpy's home.

"Why do you live on the ground if you're a Pegasus?" asked Note.

Derpy smiled. "Funny story. I used to get lost a lot back when I lived up in the clouds. My eyes drift and every cloud looks so identical."

Note Pad smiled, "That must have been frustrating."

"You get used to it," said Derpy, as they approached her door.

"So... this is goodbye," said Note Pad.

Derpy frowned, but she did want to sleep. She felt exhausted. "Will I see you again?"

"Of course," he said, finding himself smiling.

She opened her door. "Goodbye..." And promptly slipped inside, closing it.

She exhaled deeply. "I need a bath... A nice warm bath..."

She entered the living room and saw her purple unicorn cousin Sparkler drawing idly with Derpy's daughter Dinky.

"Mommy!" said Dinky, happily embracing her mother. "Let me show you everything I drew today!"

* * *

><p>Note Pad eventually left back to the inn room he settled into. He opened the door and made sure the first thing he did before bed, was shower. He felt as if he went through a really long day, and all he could think about was sleeping.<p>

He tossed and turned for countless minutes. He couldn't sleep. He knew he didn't want to accept it, but he had to.

"I think I actually like that bubble-brain."

* * *

><p>Evening passed, and morning followed. The sun high above was blocked out by the clouds, and a light drizzle gave Ponyville an almost gloomy look.<p>

Note Pad rose up and showered, put on his sunglasses, and left. He headed out into the inn's cafe, intent on getting some breakfast. After eating, he used a nearby phone.

"Hello? Boss?" said Note Pad.

"Ah, good morning detective. I was hoping you'd call me. I have news."

"Really?" said Note, "What kind of news?"

"I was able to find some new working contacts..."

Note Pad knew where this was going. He spoke in a low, hushed tone.

"Don't you even think of firing me..." said Note.

"It's not firing. Firing you is an ugly term I'd rather not use..." replied his boss. "You didn't do anything, it's just for my new detectives. We're being moved around," Note Pad heard papers shuffling in the background, "By that I mean we partnered up with the Manehattan Police Department. So we have new detectives and a police force. It's all very hectic right now."

"Naturally you chose to let me go," said Note, bitterly.

"Note Pad, listen kid..." Note Pad knows his boss rarely called him "kid", "I helped you get where you are right now. I understand you've worked with me for years, but we just can't have you with us right now. I'm sorry, kid. I promise I'll reach you once we cleared up room here. In the meantime... think of this as an extended vacation."

Note Pad sighed.

"You were stressed out. Now you can truly relax and take cases on your leisure." There was a pause. "I'll keep in touch, Note. Goodbye, kid."

And just like that, the line went dead. Note Pad hung up and processed what he just heard. He was practically laid off, but it was an "extended vacation."

In a way, Note Pad was glad he got out of his crummy office. He could finally properly settle down.

_And I can spend more time with Derpy._..

He growled at himself for thinking about her.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Sorry I haven't been updating as often as I used to. School and Life pretty much have me tied down with less time to write. I'll try to work on updating stories on the weekends. Thank you~<strong>

**-Sharky  
><strong>


	13. A2 Ch 6: Missing Son and Reunion

Derpy walked into her favorite coffee shop with a yawn and tired eyes, looking for something to perk her up. To her surprise, she saw Pinkie Pie there as well, drinking alone at a table.

"Pinkie?" asked Derpy, examining Pinkie Pie. The pink party pony looked just as tired as Derpy did-and that was really saying something.

The two ponies sat with disheveled manes and glazed eyes. Pinkie looked up and smiled.

"The Cakes' went out last night and left it up to me to take care of the babies again..."

"Oh," said Derpy with a giggle, "I understand."

"What about you?" asked Pinkie, "Why do _you_ look so tired?"

Derpy glanced away and lied.

"I... my mattress is broken...?"

Pinkie nodded. "I hate it when my mattresses break too."

She took another sip of the coffee while Derpy got up to get one of her own.

"Hey, what ever happened to that detective guy?" asked Pinkie.

"Note Pad," said Derpy, "His name is Note Pad. And I haven't seen him in almost a week."

"Really?" inquired Pinkie, "You two seemed really great together."

Derpy gave Pinkie a strange look. "What did you say...?"

"As detectives," said Pinkie, "You two seemed like a good team!"

"Oh..." said Derpy, "Okay."

Derpy giggled nervously and tried to hide her blush, drinking her coffee. She briefly wondered where Note Pad could be.

* * *

><p>Note Pad wrote in his small notebook, interrogating a light brown mare.<p>

"When was the last time you saw your son, miss...?" he asked.

The sad mare spoke up. "Scarlet Letter..."

"Miss Letter, when did you say your son disappeared?" asked Note Pad.

"One week ago. He's been missing for a week..."

Note Pad did more writing. "Is he a young colt?"

"He's almost a stallion," replied the worried mother.

_Probably just a disgruntled teenager..._ thought Note Pad.

"Please describe him for me," he said.

The mother put a hoof to her chin and thought for just a moment.

"He's a brown pony, with a brown mane and ruby eyes. His manestyle is a bit spiked up. He likes food. Mostly junk food and pastries and snacks..."

Note Pad continued to note things down. "What is he like personality-wise?"

"My little Pen would never run away!" exclaimed the distraught mare, "He is so nice and sweet... why would he leave home?"

"Where is his father, Miss Letter?"

Scarlet Letter frowned. "I'm recently divorced..."

_Single parent? The kid is probably hiding somewhere to clear his head._

In the back of his mind, Note Pad remembered his own father. He blocked his dad's face out of his head.

"I'm sorry, Miss Letter... do you have an idea of where your son has run off to?"

She shook her head. "Not in the slightest..."

Note Pad nodded. "Okay Miss Letter. I'll find your son and come to you if I have any further questions."

She clutched his hoof and looked to be on the verge of tears.

"Please find my son, Mister Pad...! Please..."

He was caught off guard by her sudden motion and searched her grief-stricken eyes through his dark sunglasses.

"I'll find your son..."

"Do you promise...?" asked Scarlet, not letting go.

"I promise, yes..."

She let go of his hoof.

"I'm sorry..." she said.

"It's fine," he said. _Never come between a mother and her freakin' kid._

"Goodbye, Miss Letter. I'll let you know if I need anything."

Scarlet nodded and went back into her house. Note Pad looked down at what he had scribbled for the investigation.

It was a picture of Derpy.

_I'm gonna need some help for this..._

* * *

><p>He went to the only place he could find Derpy-her house. He still remembered where she lived after he had walked her home.<p>

Note Pad was no longer with his division. After having been laid off, he would take whatever investigative job he could find in the small town of Ponyville.

He knocked on Derpy's front door, waiting for an answer. After some time, she opened the door, and her eyes lit up in surprise.

"Note!" said Derpy happily. She hugged him tightly, which surprised the both of them. She pulled away in embarrassment. "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help with a case," he said, "I'll tell you all about it on the way."

She nodded and her eyes drifted around. "Yes sir!"

She ran back inside before he could say anything, and she returned wearing her detective hat, pants, and other accessories.

"Are we heading off?" she asked.

He nodded. "Let's go..."

He smiled.

"...partner."

Derpy beamed, smiling widely.

"Now that I'm your partner for realsies, can I see what's behind your sunglasses now?"

He chuckled.

"No."


	14. A2 Ch 7: Number One Fan

Note Pad sat down next to Derpy on a nearby park bench, writing in a new page in his note pad.

_Assignment__: __Scarlet __Letter__'s __Missing __Son_

_Leads__: (?)_

_Points __of __Interest__: __Teenage __angst__, __divorce_

_Description__: __brown __pony__, __with __a __brown __mane __and __ruby __eyes__. __Spiked __mane style__. __He __likes __food__. __Mostly __junk __food __and __pastries __and __snacks__..._

He clicked his pen and turned to Derpy. "I think I should talk to the mother again, ask if there are any relatives he could have run off to."

Derpy wasn't paying attention. She was instead watching as the ducks waddled around in front of her, her crossed eyes following their movements. Her nose was scrunched.

"...Derpy...?" asked Note Pad.

She looked up. "Huh?"

"Nevermind," he sighed.

Derpy went back to the ducks. There were also ponies in this park, aimlessly walking around, talking, or playing. In the distance, she spotted a lovely pegasus couple relaxing together. She also recognized Spike the Dragon and his little friends, and smiled, remembering an incident involving a coffee-maker and how much of a fuss that caused.

Note Pad stood up.

"We're leaving," he said.

"Huh?" said Derpy, "But it's so nice here."

"We aren't getting paid to watch _ducks_, Derpy, we're paid to solve cases. That's _your_ job, and that's _my_ job."

"We can't take a break?" asked Derpy.

"We can relax when we find that mare's missing son," said Note.

Derpy looked down, but then smiled.

"Alright," she said.

"We're just asking if there are any family members he could have run off to, okay?" said Note Pad.

"Yeah," said Derpy.

Note Pad knocked on the mare's front door, remembering the address as part of the information she had given him, prior to the case. The same light-brown mare opened the door.

"Is there a problem? You can't find my son?" asked Scarlet, nervously.

"We need to know if there's anyone in the family he could have run off to," said Note.

"Well he certainly isn't with his good-for-nothing father," said Scarlet, bitterly.

_Ah __yes__,_ thought Note, _They __divorced__, _he remembered.

Before Note Pad could ask another question, Derpy interrupted.

"Hey! You're Scarlet Letter!" she said with excitement, "I read almost all of your romance novels!"

Scarlet's expression turned from one of scorn to one of good spirits. "Always happy to meet one of my fans!"

"Can I have your autograph!?" asked Derpy, "You are so **cool**! Especially when you wrote _Sleepless __in __Pegasopolis_!"

Derpy let out a typical fangirl scream (or _screech_),and grinned ear to ear.

Scarlet laughed. "Not so loud, please! I'm only staying in Ponyville for a short while."

"I stayed up all night reading your newest book, and I have to say you _really_ didn't pull any punches with the raunchiness!" said Derpy with a blush, "Very sexy stuff!"

Note Pad fought back the uncontrollable urge to facehoof.

Scarlet Letter took out a pen. "Where do I sign?"

"SIGN MY FACE!" yelled Derpy.

Scarlet was used to having that yelled at her, so she simply wrote _**SL**_ extravagantly on Derpy's forehead, even adding "_**To **__**my **__**number **__**one **__**fan**__**~!**_"

"Now you have a whole sentence on your forehead..." said Note Pad in disbelief, "You have a SENTENCE on your FOREHEAD...!"

Scarlet Letter clicked her pen and smiled at her handiwork. "There you go!"

Derpy fangirl-screamed again. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Don't mention it," said Scarlet, smiling. She turned to Note Pad, "What did you want to ask...?"

"Is there anyone your son could be staying with?" asked Note Pad.

"Perhaps my brother in Canterlot," she said, "His uncle."

Note Pad scribbled that into his notebook.

"Alright, we'll keep in touch," he said, "Come on Derpy."

Derpy eagerly hugged Scarlet, "Thanks again for the autograph!"

"Anytime," said Scarlet, "Good luck on the investigation. Let me know if you need anything."

* * *

><p>Note Pad and Derpy made it to the train station heading towards Canterlot. They looked over the short group of ponies who were also heading there.<p>

"It's gonna be a long while before we get there," said Note.

Derpy reached into her hat and pulled out a romance novel, written by Scarlet Letter.

"I have something to keep me occupied," she said grinning.

Note Pad rolled his eyes behind his glasses. "Of course you do."

The train pulled off and began moving, slowly accelerating while Derpy and Note Pad sat together. Without meaning to, Note Pad closed his eyes and softly snored, falling asleep.

Derpy looked up from staring at her saucy book cover. "He fell asleep _already_?"

She huffed and sat there, looking around and finding no one else in this cabin.

_I__'__ll __just __let __him __sleep_, she thought, _I __had __no __idea __he __was __so __tired_.

She smiled, opened up her book, and began reading through where she had left off.


	15. A2 Ch 8: Dreams and Clopfiction

A small bead of sweat dripped from Derpy's neck, as her eyes shrunk and tried to absorb every last word on the page, before turning it. Her derped eyes hit the last period, and she turned the page, nervously looking around.

Again, she and Note Pad were alone in the train cabin.

Or rather, she and a sleeping Note Pad next to her. She heard him snore quietly, the sunglasses still on his face, as they always were. Derpy took a moment to appreciate the fact that the light red earth pony was asleep. She didn't want him to see her like this.

"This book is the sexiest I've ever read..." she said quietly to herself.

She bit her lower lip and looked at Note Pad again. He was still sleeping of course.

"Maybe I can..."

Derpy moved a hoof silently over to his sunglasses.

"Maybe I can take a quick peek..."

She made contact with his glasses before pulling away, looking down at her forehooves.

_I can't do that... he trusts me..._

She went back to her book.

_No, it's wrong. I can't peek. I can't bother him..._

She tried to get her mind off with more reading. The romance book, written by Scarlet Letter herself, was yet another book in a series that Derpy enjoyed reading. Derpy was a huge fan, and had the forehead autograph from earlier to prove it.

_And here we are, trying to find her son..._

Contrary to popular belief, reading was one of Derpy's favorite pastimes. She remembered the times in school where she would hide in the library from the other mean ponies, and read to her heart's content.

She set her book down and briefly left to use the bathroom.

* * *

><p>The young red colt slipped out of bed and quietly descended the stairs. Careful not to make a noise, he left his home and made his way across the Manehattan street.<p>

_I won't get caught... there's no way I'll get caught..._

He turned into an alleyway and carefully trotted to a dumpster. With effort, the earth pony colt moved the dumpster under a fire escape, climbing up and ascending the stairs, just like he practiced.

He finally reached the window he was looking for. Ever so softly, he knocked twice.

After a few seconds, the window opened and a filly's head poked through.

"You made it!" she whispered with excitement.

"Of course," he said. "I wouldn't miss it."

She moved out of the way and he climbed in through, stepping onto pink rug. He definitely recognized the room, even in the faint darkness. The moonlight from outside even reached the alleyway, but the little filly's night light illuminated the room just enough for them to see each other's faces.

"I've been thinking about you all day, Note," said the filly, smiling. She blushed softly.

Note kissed her cheek, his tail wagging happily. "You've been on my mind too, Candy Swirl."

He nuzzled the unicorn's pale-blue coat with his light red muzzle. She giggled softly.

"We still have to be quiet..." she said. "My dad doesn't like you too much..."

"That's fine," he said. He noticed her violet and pink mane were slightly disheveled. She must have been lying awake waiting for him.

He walked over to her bed and sat down with her, holding her hoof. Two innocent children relaxing together.

"I still like your eyes," she said softly. "I love them, even. I don't care what anyone else thinks."

He looked away. "Thanks..."

Candy Swirl poked his side. "Hey you. I mean it," she said sternly. "Don't you look away..."

He looked back and grinned, snuggling warmly with her. He couldn't be happier.

* * *

><p>Note Pad awoke slowly, groaning. He rubbed his face.<p>

"Another dream about her..."

He looked over and yawned. Derpy wasn't there.

His mouth was dry. He saw her book and picked it up and read the title.

"Blue and Gold," he said. Must be a cheap romantic comedy or something...

He turned to a random page, not even bothering to bookmark where Derpy left off.

* * *

><p><em>"Oh Gold Star!" cried the stallion. "We shouldn't! What if we get caught?"<em>

* * *

><p>Note Pad closed the book immediately.<p>

"Hell. No. I can't believe Derpy actually reads this crap."

He suddenly realized WHO wrote it, and chuckled to himself.

"Scarlet Letter, romance writer and currently missing a son," he waved the book around for emphasis. A particular snippet caught his eye, and he read the back of the book.

"...oh, I can't WAIT until Derpy gets back."

And as soon as he said that, the blonde mare came trotting down the lane.

"What are you doing?" she asked in surprise and fear. "Put that down!"

"Well Derpy," said Note Pad with a nasty smile. "I didn't know you LOVED reading stories like this."

She gasped. "You made me lose my page!"

He continued. "Especially lovey-dovey stories involving STALLIONS. Who would have THOUGHT that you read gay clopfiction!" he teased.

Her cheeks reddened deeply and her pupils dilated in embarrassment. "I-I don't! Keep your voice down!"

She tried to snatch it back, but he held it away.

"Were you in the bathroom just now?" he asked. "What were you doing in the bathroom, halfway through an erotic book, huh?"

Her jaw dropped. "I-It's not like that!" she exclaimed. "I didn't do anything like that! I didn't-" she lowered her voice. "I did not clop!"

"You totally did!" he laughed. "I can't believe you, Derpy."

She stomped her hoof. "Give it back now!"

He tossed her the book, which she grabbed and looked through.

"You almost bent the pages... and you made me lose my place..."

She looked up and scowled at him, sitting down next to him.

"I would have avoided you in school..." she said, an inflection of sadness in her voice.

Note Pad's smile dropped. "Derpy, I was-"

She looked away from him, clutching the book to her chest.

He slowly looked away and felt a thick veil of awkwardness and tension form between them.

He didn't mean to upset her that much.

"Derpy, I'm sorry," he said. "I was just kidding..."

"I heard you," she said. "But I'm not reading this around you."

Note Pad felt bad for putting her down. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was going to be a long trip.

* * *

><p>"Attention ponies," a voice said over the loudspeaker. "We will be arriving in Canterlot in one hour."<p> 


	16. A2 Ch 9: Love and Author's Note

Note Pad felt the awkward silence between him and Derpy grow with each passing second. She had stopped reading her book now that he was awake.

He sighed and twiddled his hooves, glancing around through his sunglasses. There was nothing to do for another hour except talk, and after Note Pad's stunt, Derpy must not really be up for that. Still, he had to try.

"So..." he began.

Derpy turned and looked at him, an eye drifting further than the other.

"Have you been to Canterlot?" he asked.

"Plenty of times actually," she replied. "I used to deliver letters and packages there too."

She took off her detective hat and laid it down beside her. "But Canterlot, Cloudsdale and Ponyville are the only places I've ever delivered. How is Manehattan?"

"Hectic," he said. "Many places to eat. Many places to live... I don't know how to explain it. It's a big city, but it's so homey at the same time."

She nodded. "Oh okay..."

She glanced around, tapping the seat with her hooves.

"I have a question about your sunglasses," she asked suddenly.

He rolled his eyes behind them instinctively. "What?"

"Why can't you show me your eyes?" she asked.

"I don't show ponies my eyes," he said. "I don't like my eyes. Why should I have to show others?"

"Maybe others will like your eyes..." she said.

"Right," he said sarcastically. "Because they absolutely _loved_ my eyes before."

She frowned. "Nevermind..."

"Do you take them off when you're alone?" she asked.

"Of course," he said. "To shower and sleep, you know."

She nodded. "Okay."

"Why are you so interested?" he asked.

"I need to learn about my partner," she replied. She rolled her eyes. "Even if he can be a big jerkface..."

Note Pad got up and walked down the aisle, away from Derpy. "I have to use the bathroom..."

Derpy huffed and blew some of her mane hairs away from her face. Note Pad left the train car and entered another with less ponies. He turned and entered an adjacent room-the bathroom.

He flicked on the light and took off his sunglasses, turning on the faucet to wash his face.

* * *

><p>"Note... wake up, Note..." he heard in his ear. The young little colt awoke in surprise. He had fell asleep in Candy's room.<p>

"What... what time is it?" he asked.

"It's almost sunrise..." she said, craning her head to the closed alleyway window. "You should leave before my dad catches you here..."

He understood, and sat up. They had fallen asleep snuggling only once before, and Note Pad was almost caught that time. Ever since then, Candy has been more alert and careful.

"Alright," he said. "I'll see you later...?"

She smiled and nodded. "At school, yeah..."

Her mane was still messy, and he smiled at her.

"Okay," he said. But she spoke suddenly before he could continue.

"_I love you_," she said quickly.

Note Pad was caught off guard. Their playful togetherness was always more of a flirtatious and gentle friendship. They had never actually done more than snuggle, with the occasional kiss on the cheek.

He turned to face her as she sat up on the bed, looking stupefied. She searched his face and sat up on the bedside. Slowly, she sadly looked away from him.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." she muttered, holding her arm. _I'm so stupid. How could I ever assume something like that? He's not looking for a relationship. Good job, dummy, you really blew it._

Note trotted to Candy and gently brought her head up to meet his, kissing her and relieving her of any and all doubt in the world. Her eyes widened as he pressed his lips to hers.

She melted instantly into the warm, loving embrace, holding his cheek as he held her hoof. Note Pad thought of only two things during the kiss: how sweet she tasted, and how much he loved her. How much he had always loved her.

He gently pulled away from the kiss, and Candy gasped softly; almost inaudibly. She squeezed his hoof.

"I love you too," he replied, nuzzling her neck. Her heart fluttered with happiness and nervousness and nausea and excitement, but also sorrow, as she remembered he had to leave.

She placed another soft kiss on his lips. "Oh Note Pad... I love you... please go before you're caught. We need to talk later," she said with a smile. She was in such disbelief.

He smirked. "I never get caught."

"Don't be so sure," she said with a wide smile. Then her eyes darted to the door.

She heard hoofsteps.

Her doorknob rattled softly before being turned and opened. A dark blue stallion poked his head through the door.

"I was checking to see if you were almost ready for school," he chuckled. "Apparently you're almost ready! You look so clean and tidy and awake!"

She looked up to her messy mane and untidy coat. "Oh, real funny, dad."

"Anyway," he said. "School's been canceled today. Some sort of test preparation thing or something." He waved his hoof around aimlessly. "They just announced it. Sorry hun, you can go back to sleep now."

"Yeah, I think I'll sleep for a few more hours," she lied. "Goodnight, dad."

He looked over at the sunlight pouring through the window and smirked. "Good morning, technically."

Candy levitated a stuffed Wonderbolt plushie and threw it at him. "Begone, mortal!"

He laughed and closed the door. Candy could hear his hooves as they descended the staircase.

"You can come out now," she whispered.

Note Pad poked his head out from under the bed. "Told you. Never get caught."

She smiled. "You heard him. No school today."

He kissed her briefly, but sweetly. She sighed in happiness.

"I can't believe this..." she said. "You love me too..."

She began giggling and bounced in her bed in excitement and anxiousness. "This is amaaazing~!"

She heard the window open and opened her eyes. Note Pad was climbing out.

"Where are you going?" she asked, tilting her head.

"I have to buy my new girlfriend something nice," he said with a grin. "Stay in bed, honey."

He carefully climbed out and closed the window behind him.

Candy sighed again. Then she smiled to herself, then grinned, then started bouncing again, squealing with happiness.

* * *

><p>Note Pad stopped washing his face and gazed up to stare at himself in the mirror. He sighed and put his hoof to the cold glass.<p>

"Why am I having all of these dreams about you, Candy...? Why now more than ever...?"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>If you haven't already known by my profile, I'm deleting _My Little Pwny Redux_ yet again. I realized the following points.

1) A sequel is unnecessary.

2) It's boring.

3) I don't enjoy writing it. It's a _chore_.

I apologize to anyone who enjoyed the story up to this point, but I can't bring myself to write it anymore. It's just... pointless. Bland.

Every other story is here to stay, and I do plan to release more of course. I just felt it necessary to put this **here**, seeing as you all seem to like this story the most.

This author's note will be removed when I feel it's necessary. Any concerns, PM me.

_-Sharky is sorry._


	17. A2 Ch 10: Blank Stares and Candi Shops

Note Pad sat back down next to Derpy, who put her book down once more upon his arrival.

"When we depart, where are we going to begin looking?" she asked.

"I'm not entirely sure," said Note Pad. "Scarlet mentioned a brother of hers in Canterlot. We can start there."

Derpy nodded. "But how are we going to find him?"

"Well," said Note Pad. "How hard could it be to find a Mister Letter?"

Derpy smiled. "Oh! We're also lucky she kept her maiden name!"

"Yeah," chuckled Note. "We got lucky there."

Derpy turned and opened the window behind her, peeking her head through.

"I can see Canterlot!" she said.

Note Pad smiled. "Great. We're practically there."

Several minutes later, Derpy and Note Pad exited the train with everypony else, getting off at the station. Derpy yawned and Note Pad cracked his neck.

"We're looking for a Mister Letter," said Note Pad. "Scarlet's brother."

"We could ask Princess Celestia!" exclaimed Derpy. Everypony still at the station gave her odd looks.

"Please don't be so loud," groaned Note Pad, putting a hoof to his forehead. "And no, we don't need to see the princess. Phone books exist for a reason."

"A phone... book...?" asked Derpy.

"Oh come on, I know not everypony has a phone, but filthy rich ponies like the Scarlet family sure do." explained Note.

Derpy tilted her head. "Um..."

Note Pad stared blankly. "You've never seen somepony use a phone?"

"My cousin Ditzy has one I think..." said Derpy Hooves, staring into space.

Note Pad turned without saying a word and walked away from the station, off towards the main shops in town.

"H-Hey!" said Derpy. "Wait!"

* * *

><p>Back in Ponyville, all was not right. A saddened pink party pony was moping around and sighing to herself, seated alone at Sugarcube Corner.<p>

Rarity walked in, expecting her friends. Instead she found Pinkie Pie and decided to cheer her up. After all, what are friends for?

"Pinkie, dear, why are you upset?" asked Rarity. "A fresh batch of cupcakes always cheers ME up. In fact, _you_ should make me some right now!"

Rarity smiled for her friend, but Pinkie just huffed.

"I miss being a detective, Rarity."

Rarity was puzzled. "I beg pardon?"

"Derpy and I were detectives you know, until she got back with that red stallion," said Pinkie. Rarity perked up at the mention of Note Pad.

"It's been so long since I've been a detective..." said Pinkie. "I still have that watch I bought with Derpy in case she wants me to be her partner again..."

Rarity frowned. "I'm sorry Pinkie, but Derpy is off somewhere else, parading around with that... handsome, _rugged_ red stallion..."

Pinkie was sure she saw Rarity lick her lips, but she disregarded it as her friend being weird at the mention of Note Pad again.

"I know, I know," said Pinkie. "But I hope she gets back soon so we can fight more criiiiime."

"What crime did you fight the first time with Derpy?" asked Rarity.

Pinkie shook her hoof dismissively. "That's not important... I'm just soooo boooored..."

Rarity thought for a moment. "If you want, perhaps you could be a detective too? Here in Ponyville while Derpy is away?"

Pinkie gasped. "That could work! But I'll need a sidekick!"

Pinkie grinned widely at Rarity.

"What, me?" Rarity asked. "Oh, no no no no no no _no_, Pinkie, I'm much too busy for that."

"You're right," said Pinkie. "I need someone cool..."

Rarity looked insulted, to say the least.

"I think I know who can be my partner!" said Pinkie.

* * *

><p>"No," said Vinyl Scratch, one of Equestria's most well-known DJs.<p>

"Oh come on!" said Pinkie, giving a sad face. "How cool does The Adventures of Pinkie and DJ PON3 sound?"

"It sounds cool I guess," said Vinyl. "But I'm a busy pony, Pinkie. I promised my fans I'd put out an album by the end of the month."

Pinkie scrunched her face. "You didn't say WHICH month!"

Vinyl stared blankly while Pinkie gave a face that looked like this:

:D

The DJ pony giggled and sighed. "You know, Lyra told me about your little adventure with her and Derpy. That crazy pony can't even _fly_ straight, how is she going to solve crimes?"

"Derpy's a good detective! She told me herself!" said Pinkie.

"But why would _I_ want to be one?" asked Vinyl. "Sorry Pinks, that just ain't my style. I couldn't even beat LA Noire."

Pinkie frowned. "Okay..."

"Don't look so down," said Vinyl. "I'm sure there's other ponies more than happy to help you."

"Okay," repeated Pinkie. "Well at least I asked. Seeya Vinyl! Try to finish LA Noire!"

"No!" said Vinyl with a smile, waving goodbye as Pinkie left.

Pinkie Pie walked over to Fluttershy's cottage and softly knocked on the door. After a bit of waiting, Fluttershy opened the door and smiled softly at her friend.

"Hi Pinkie Pie," said Pinkie's introverted friend.

"Hiya Fluttershy!" said Pinkie. "Do I have an idea for _you_!"

* * *

><p>Note Pad sat with Derpy as they flipped through the phone book.<p>

"Letter, look for Letter," said Note Pad.

"Yeah," replied Derpy. "L..."

The duo stared into the L section of the phone book, hoping they would find a phone number of sorts for Scarlet's relative.

"He..." began Note Pad. "He's not in here..."

"I thought you said Scarlet's family had phones!" said Derpy.

"Well apparently not everyone!" replied Note Pad with a raised voice.

Derpy shrunk back with a surprised expression. Note Pad sighed.

"Sorry..." he said.

She glanced away. _At least he's apologizing more often..._ she thought. Derpy flipped through the pages aimlessly.

"Maybe it's by first name..." she said, going to random pages in the phone book.

"Don't be ridiculous," said Note Pad. "Can't you see? It's..."

Note Pad stopped, and put his hoof over Derpy's, holding the page she was on so that she wouldn't change it. His eyes went over the same line and number that they had caught, his eyes wide as they could be behind his sunglasses.

_Candi Swirl's Candy Shop, East Canterlot._

His stiffened and couldn't move his eyes away from the text, almost certain his mind was playing tricks on him. Slowly, he moved his hoof off of Derpy's and pointed to the line that he was looking at.

"What does that say...?" he said simply.

Derpy looked. "Candi Swirl's Candy Shop? I like the sound of that. It sounds tasty." Her expression brightened. "Can we go there?! I could go for some candy!"

"Yeah..." said Note Pad in an almost catatonic state. "Yeah we can go there... we can go there right now..."

"I can't wait!" said Derpy, flapping her wings in anticipation. "I wonder what kind of candy they have!"

Note Pad blinked, and slowly rubbed his forehead.

"This can't be real... this has to be too good to be true..."

Derpy stopped and looked at him. "Huh? What do you mean?"

_Can she really be here?_ thought Note Pad. _Is it really true?_


	18. A2 Ch 11: Playpony Enterprises?

"What's too good to be true?" asked Derpy, tilting her head and looking at Note Pad.

"Well," said Note. "I knew a filly named Candi Swirl back when I was a colt in Manehattan..."

"Really?" asked Derpy, surprised. "What was she like?"

Note Pad smiled. "She was nice, and sweet... She was the only filly who really liked my eyes."

Derpy thought of his eyes again. Surely they couldn't be as bad as hers...

"Do you think this is the same pony?" asked Derpy.

"Yes," said Note. "The "i" in Candi... it couldn't be another pony..."

Derpy approached him. "Let's go see her then," she said.

Note smiled. "Okay, let's get going..."

There was some excitement and nervousness in Note's voice, as he was eager to meet her after all these years.

Derpy followed behind him. "She better not be prettier than me..." she muttered low so Note Pad couldn't hear.

* * *

><p>Fluttershy rolled her gentle eyes and looked at her friend. "Pinkie, we wouldn't make good detectives..."<p>

"Sure we would!" replied Pinkie. "We could be the Pink and Yellow squad! Or the Yellow and Pink squad if that's what you want."

"That's not what I meant," said Fluttershy. "There aren't any crimes in Ponyville, if any..."

"Sure there is!" said Pinkie Pie. "We just have to go and find it!"

Fluttershy looked uneasy. "If you say so..."

The two trotted all the way to Twilight's library, intent on asking her for any possible assignments. When they got there however, the library was closed and Twilight was nowhere to be seen.

"She's not here..." said Fluttershy.

"Maybe she was ponynapped!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie," said Fluttershy. "I'm sure that she's just visiting the Princess..."

"She would have left a note like she always does," said Pinkie, motioning to the door.

"I suppose you're right..." said Fluttershy. "But we can't just jump to conclusions..."

Pinkie scrunched up her face. "Let's at least ask the others where she could be.

Fluttershy nodded, figuring this was the most sense Pinkie's made all day.

* * *

><p>Note Pad and Derpy had noticed a significant number of ponies trotting back and forth. Some in a hurried frenzy, and others in what appeared to be extreme nervousness. Paranoia.<p>

A tall, brown pony pushed past Derpy and quickly cantered through the streets.

"Hey!" said Derpy. "That was rude..."

But the same had happened to Note Pad, getting nudged and pushed by ponies who simply HAD to get somewhere quickly. It was odd, to say the least.

"Why is everypony so pushy?" asked Derpy.

"They all look like they have to see something..." remarked Note Pad. "What could possibly affect all these ponies?"

Derpy shrugged. "Anyway... What are you going to say to this Candi pony once you see her?"

Note Pad smiled, something he rarely did. "I don't know... maybe we could drink some wine and catch up, remember the fun times back in Manehattan."

Derpy nodded slowly. "Uh huh..."

"I wonder how she looks now," said Note. "How much she's changed..."

I can't wait to see, thought Derpy, rolling her eyes.

The sun was slowly descending as Note Pad and Derpy made their way down a street and turned a corner, noticing a new area that must have opened up in Canterlot, as construction ponies were idly passing by and cleaning up.

This new section in Canterlot featured a noticeably large amount of buildings with lights on them, and muffled jazz music could be heard playing in the distance.

There was a crowd of ponies slowly dispersing to enter a building of their choice. Derpy and Note Pad were confused to say the least.

"I... What?" muttered Note Pad.

"This wasn't here last time I came here..." remarked Note Pad.

"That's because it's new for all of us!" loudly said by a third pony.

The two turned and were met with the brown stallion from before, who had shoved past Derpy.

"Oh, it's you," said Derpy.

"Sorry about pushing," said the brown stallion. "I just couldn't wait to see this myself!"

The tall brown pony had a little soul patch on his chin, and a black mane that was almost graying. Both his mane and tail were slick.

"What is this?" asked Derpy, motioning to all the lights and sounds, and all the ponies walking into and around the flashy buildings.

"This is Canterlot's first ever..." began the brown pony, pausing for dramatic effect. "CASINO AND GENTLECOLT'S CLUB!"

The words hit Note Pad like a ton of bricks. His jaw dropped. It was the first time Derpy had ever seen him truly surprised.

"What's a gentlecolt's club?" asked Derpy.

"It's a place where stallions go to be _very_ happy, young mare! You seem like a real innocent pony, you shouldn't go to places like those. The mares there are... _baaaad_ ponies."

Note Pad was still reeling, and Derpy now understood why.

"Is he alright?" asked the brown stallion, pointing to Note Pad.

"He thinks the mare he's looking for has become a... _baaaad_ pony," said Derpy, raising a hoof lightly off the ground.

"Oh," said the brown pony. "Well perhaps not. She COULD have become a dealer for the casino..."

Derpy was shocked. "The casino is selling DRUGS?!"

The brown stallion let out a big, hearty laugh. "You're a real gem, you know that?" He extended his hoof. "I am Eclair Von Hoofington. My cousin just opened up this new area, you see. She is the CEO and founder of Playpony Enterprises." He chuckled. "Not to be confused with PLAYCOLT, of course. That's an _entirely_ different ballgame, as one could say."

Derpy's eyes shifted and drifted. "Whooaaa... Playpony Enterprises makes all sorts of cool stuff like board games and toys! I didn't know they had an adult pony section."

"Yes well, my cousin is certainly full of surprises! I'm sure if your friend over there speaks with her, he could find the mare he's looking for."

"That sounds like a plan!" said Derpy, shaking his hoof. "You hear that, Note? Candi could totally be here!"

Note Pad had calmed down. "Okay... alright... we just need to find a place here called Candi Swirl's Candy Shop..."

Derpy giggled. "That sounds like a place where bad ponies go~" she teased.

Note Pad groaned. "This can't go well at all."

Note Pad looked at Derpy, Scarlet's autograph still written on her forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere else with you until you wash that stupid thing off," he said.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this chapter. My laptop broke and had to be repaired... but since tomorrow is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of this fanfic, I figured I have to write as much as I possibly can and upload them by any means necessary... hehehe...~<strong>

**-Sharky is trying**


	19. Act 2 End: Eclair Von Who?

After exchanging formalities, Derpy Hooves and Note Pad entered the main lobby of the _expansive_ and _extravagant_ flashy building, with their new acquaintance Eclair Von Hoofington. Jazz music filled the ears of everypony in the large lobby, and Derpy found herself enjoying the music.

"Ah, you like jazz?" asked Eclair.

"Well I don't really listen to it, but it sounds really nice..." she remarked. "I usually listen to anything that DJ PON3 plays back in Ponyville."

Derpy turned to Note Pad, but he looked very anxious.

"Who do we ask to see your cousin, Eclair? Does she have an office?" asked Note Pad, shuffling slightly.

"Yes, but we have to get permission at the front desk. Luckily..."

Eclair pulled out a small key from one of his pockets. Derpy didn't understand why Eclair had chosen to wear clothes. It must have been a rich pony thing. Then again, she DID sport clothes herself. With her fantastic detective hat and pants, watch and notepad, she looked _fly_.

"We have this! She gave me this key in case I want to visit her sometime!" said Eclair.

"She sounds nice!" said Derpy. "That makes our lives a lot easier. Do you know WHERE her office is?"

"Not at all," said Eclair. "This is what we must ask the concierge."

The trio approached the front desk and up came the concierge, a cream-colored pony with a beige mane and tail.

_Kinda cute..._ thought Note. _But I'm here for Candi..._

"Yes?" asked the concierge, eyeing the three.

Eclair spoke up, flashing the key. "I'm here to see my cousin Chocolate Dip. She gave me permission to see her in her office whenever-"

The concierge interrupted. "I'm sorry, she isn't here at the moment. She left a note saying she stepped out," she waved a hoof dismissively. "Something about hiring new ponies to work the gentlecolt's club. You can visit the casino while you wait for her. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience."

Eclair clutched the key. "Well alright... please let us know when she arrives."

The concierge scribbled a note. "Yes sir, I shall."

Eclair turned to the group. "Well, you heard the lady. Time to hit the casinos," he said with a smirk.

"That could be good for you," said Derpy to Note Pad. "You could use the relaxation..."

"I guess..." said Note. "I just wanna sit down for at least a moment."

The three made their way into the lavish casino hall, and were met with bright lights, music, and many ponies filling the room. The room itself had red carpeting, with brown walls and slot machines, roulette, and tables where one could play cards, among other games.

"Wow..." said Derpy. "I've never been to a casino before..."

"Do you have a watch?" asked Note Pad.

Derpy looked down at the watch she bought, smiling at the memory of Lyra and Pinkie and their little adventure prior to leaving with Note Pad.

"Yes, why?" asked Derpy.

"Well casinos don't have clocks on the walls. You lose track of time. It's one of the ways they keep you playing," said Note.

"Ohhh..." said Derpy.

It had literally just hit Note Pad: bringing Derpy to a casino was probably the **worst** idea he's EVER had.

"Please stay with me," he said. "I don't want you losing all of our money."

He stuck close to her and she tried to hide her blush.

"Yeah, I'll stay with you," she smiled.

Eclair halted the group. "What are we going to play?" he asked with excitement.

"Uh, I don't know..." said Note. "Something easy for Derpy."

"Hey, I can learn fast!" said Derpy. "Let me play anything!"

"I don't know..." said Note.

Both Derpy and Eclair gave Note Pad puppy dog eyes, and Note sighed.

"Alright, let's play Blackjack I guess."

* * *

><p>The three ponies approached a blackjack table where they were met with a gray mare, with a red and white mane. Her cutie mark was a royal flush, and she smirked as they approached her.<p>

"What's up?" she asked. "Care to play?"

Derpy figured that this mare must have been the dealer, and she was hoping not in the drug sense.

Note Pad sat down with Derpy, trying his best to explain the rules. A nearby pony was cheering due to winning a lot of bits.

Once he explained the basic idea, Note Pad let Derpy play against the dealer. At first she was losing games, but then she won a few as well, smiling and looking over at Note Pad, who nodded and smiled himself.

"Hit me!" said Derpy, gazing down at her two cards momentarily, a Jack of Clubs and a Five of Hearts. The dealer gave her a new card, a Five of Diamonds.

_That's twenty. I think she's smart enough to stop there._ thought Note Pad.

"Hit me!" said Derpy.

_WHAT?_ screamed Note Pad in his head. _And she was doing so well!_

In a twist of luck, Derpy's next card was an Ace of Hearts.

"I'll stay," said Derpy. She revealed her cards along with the dealer, who had a combined total of 20. Derpy won with 21.

"Yay!" exclaimed Derpy, taking a considerable amount of chips for her winning streak. "You were right Note, this game is fun!"

Note Pad grinned. "And easy enough for you. Everything else would be too complicated."

She huffed. "I wanna play Poker now!"

Note Pad shuffled. "Uh..."

"Please?" she asked.

"Fine..." replied Note.

Eclair chuckled. "Let the mare play Poker. We'll be here a while anyway."

Eclair excused himself to go to the bathroom, leaving Note Pad and Derpy to play more casino games.

Almost twenty games later, Note Pad looked in disbelief as Derpy stuffed a flankload of hard-earned chips into her bag, giggling to herself like a crazy pony.

"Chiiiiips~" she said in a dream-like state. "They thought I was bluffing but Derpy doesn't bluuuuffff~"

"Please don't be a gambling addiction, please don't be a gambling addiction," begged Note Pad.

He received a tap on your shoulder, and turned around. It was the same pretty concierge from before, with something important to say.

"Miss Chocolate Dip is here now," she said. "Where is your friend?"

"Eclair?" asked Note. "He left a long time ago and hasn't returned..." Note Pad thought about how odd that was.

"You may still speak to Chocolate Dip of course. She is watching the girls in the club. Overlooking them."

Oh boy.

"Thank you so much," he said to the concierge. "Derpy!" called Note to the dazed mare. "Hurry and cash those chips. We're going to see the CEO of Playpony Enterprises now!"

"Okaaaay~" said Derpy, staring at the shiny poker chips.

* * *

><p>Soon after that, Derpy and Note Pad entered the Gentlecolt's club, spotting Chocolate Dip seated in a special area. Many stallions were here, calling out to the mares and having drinks, and generally having a good time. Seeing all of this made Derpy very uncomfortable.<p>

Chocolate Dip was a beige mare with a milk chocolate mane, and a large tail that looked like you could take a bite out of it, in all of it's swirliness. She turned and saw the detectives, and called them over.

"Good evening, Detectives Note Pad and Derpy Hooves. My assistant tells me that you request information. Are you enjoying yourselves?" said Chocolate Dip.

"This club sure is something," said Note.

"I apologize for making your wife feel uncomfortable," she said.

Note Pad and Derpy exchanged quick glances before looking away in awkward embarrassment.

"We're not married!" said Derpy, suddenly turning a deep red.

"Oh my," said Chocolate Dip. "My apologies yet again. It's just the way you two carry yourselves. You walk as if..." She shook her hoof. "Nevermind, sorry."

Derpy continued to look away, very embarrassed. A hundred thoughts moved through her mind at once.

_Note and I look like we're married? That's a good thing, right...?_

Note Pad was also uncomfortable, clearing his throat.

"Yes well..." he began. "I'm looking for a pony named Candi Swirl. We saw an ad in the phone book that this building had a gentleman's club by the name of Candi Swirl's Candy Shop."

Chocolate Dip smiled. "This is indeed that club, and that mare is here. She's one of my finest gals. Always makes the stallions so happy."

Note Pad felt like he was going to throw up. It was a lingering feeling in his stomach that he had to hold down.

"May I speak with her? Your cousin Eclair told me that you were the one to show me where she is."

"My cousin who?" said Dip.

The lights dimmed. Another show was starting. The stallions cheered and stood up, as Derpy, Note Pad and Chocolate Dip remained seated to talk.

"What do you mean? Your cousin Eclair Von Hoofington-" began Note Pad.

"I don't have a cousin by that name..." replied Dip. "I'm sorry, before we continue this conversation, I must see a few of my new showgirls."

A group of mares entered the stage, and the crowd cheered. Note Pad and Derpy's view was brought to the mares, the music playing even louder.

A certain mare was recognized by Derpy, and her jaw dropped in surprise.

* * *

><p>"So you're telling me that Twilight is in Canterlot?" asked Pinkie, repeating what Rarity has told her.<p>

"Yes dear. She told me she was chasing some strange fantasy, and that she was off to see somepony for a job," said Rarity. "She told me she would be back by tomorrow."

* * *

><p>"Is that <strong>TWILIGHT<strong>?" gasped Derpy, standing up in surprise, along with every stallion standing up to cheer, as the bookish lavender unicorn pony took to the center of the stage.

* * *

><p><strong>ACT 2: END<strong>


End file.
